Let me confess you something. You see I had doubted my salvation for years (All the time I think.), I started really get convicted when I got to know about you and Lehigh Valley Baptist Church. Because there was one problem: I had not trusted Christ alone! You see when I made my profession in year 2000 March I had trusted that I can become a follower of Christ since I had been baptised as a baby thus I was adding works to the Gospel and that is no Gospel then.

 “Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

I did read on black and white about my views back in year 2001 when I was in school and in those I did really state about belief in Baptismal Regeneration according the Lutheran doctrine and how it and Confirmation affects my life and how it is a part of becoming a Christian and so on. Also the whole deity Lord Jesus Christ and Trinity was confusion for me. Surely bit by bit my doctrine did get better but you cannot build your salvation on a rotten basis, person cannot grow in to salvation. It was whole confusion to me, even back in year 2005 Summer I did believe that a person can lose their salvation.

I had a special problem, you see I would get convicted constantly and I would try to pray to get saved and repent but then nothing would happen then I thought that I must had been saved before but then I got convicted again and again. I prayed the Father to show me the truth and so on. I studied the scriptures and web pages and so on. Here is the catch: Every time I was counting on my salvation or lack of it to my feelings, when I prayed I thought I have to feel special in order to be saved thus it was a work issue. I was trusting that I have to feel like something, it was adding works to the Gospel as it had happened to Patrick Briney.

I was listening today to the revival meetings on the beginning on the month. I was listening to the Texas man preaching, Hudson or something was his name and it was the 4th day sermon. He answered all of my questions about speaking that are you 100% sure that you are going to Heaven and it is not about feelings and how people are putting trust in their feelings and hoping so instead the Word of God and what it does say about salvation.

I thought that I will listen to the end of the sermon but then I thought that I could die and go to Hell thus I cannot wait any longer, I put my cell phone MP3 player on pause mode while the preaching was showing 18 minutes listened mark and went to the garage (Acceptable reason to pause sermon? ;) ) and first of all I thanked for finally for letting me to understand why I did not get saved and showing me the truth by the preaching and Patrick Briney by the Word of God.

Then I simply listed and repented my sins and admitting being a sinner and not being myself able to turn from those that Lord Jesus Christ has to give me new life in order me to be able to overcome them, I admitted my lost condition and going to Hell and I told to Lord Jesus Christ how he died on the cross, was buried, was resurrected for my sins according the Scriptures and I asked him to save me and be my Lord and God. It was great to know that I got saved! It was simple of that! You had not to trust to your feelings or anything, it was Lord Jesus Christ doing the saving! It was exciting and joyful to know that I finally got saved moments after and because the Word of God says so and it stays, no matter what my emotions say! I trusted Jesus now instead of my feelings to do the saving!

While Roland was over here in Finland, I was thinking about all of this and planned to ask his help but I was simply too sissy to do so, I was thinking that what people do think about me and that I was a deceiver and so on. It hurt me so much to say that I was saved even though I was doubting about it constantly, on and off situation but now I know that I am saved not because of feelings but instead what the Word of God says:

Acts 20:21 Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts: