When I was in grade ten, I was lost. I didn’t know anything about anything in life. The reason I lived was to hate. I was constantly angry and depressed. I hated life and I wasn’t sure what I had to live for. I would pick on my younger brother and I would abuse him regularly. I used him as my stress reliever. Anytime I was angry or annoyed by him, I would go to him and punch him. I started to punch my thighs in my anger as well. While I did this to let out my anger, the source of all my anger was still being fed. I was always picked on when I was younger and I wanted to get revenge. I never let go of the past and it just kept growing on me.

I continuously played video games and these video games were very violent. In fact, one summer I spent an average of six hours a day playing an incredibly violent video game. I would go days without bathing and days without seeing sunlight, because I was so addicted to it. This pattern continued for an entire summer and had happened other summers in the past. The video games brought images of violence into my mind. I would picture myself killing people or being an actual part of a video game. All of these thoughts led to one major thought. I wanted to take over the world one day. So I would be able to create a society that was “perfect” in my own eyes. This was a big problem of mine and I also had many others.

Whenever I wasn’t playing video games, I was watching television. All these things together created a lifestyle that was very unhealthy. This caused me to become very desensitized. I don’t believe anyone knew about this secret life of mine. I acted like everything was ok and I was also very shy. I would rarely be myself around anyone and usually when I answered someone it would only be with “yes”, “no” or “I don’t know.” If I was speaking to someone with more words, I would often attempt to make sure they didn’t know the real me. All of this caused an incredible amount of depression to enter my life.

Sometimes I would stand still, staring at the wall for long periods of time.. I remember my mother or siblings would come to where I was and would speak to me. This was very disturbing to them.

This is what my life was like before I knew Jesus; little did I know that everything was about to change.

One day I was walking around the Wentworth stairs(about 500 stairs that connected the upper city with the lower city) and it was very late at night. Some questions came to thought; “Who made everything?” “Why am I here?” and “What’s going to happen when I die?” This brought a fearful curiosity to me and this curiosity was soon satisfied.

A few weeks after this, my sister invited me out to church. I had been to this church before when I was younger and I hated it with a passion. Something spoke to me, so I decided to go. Each time I went, I was either bored or tired and I could barely stay awake for an entire message. I continued to go and one time something was very different about the service. At the end of one particular service when the pastor asked “If anyone here wants to receive Jesus in their life, raise your hand.”(As the pastor was accustomed to do) I raised my hand. I then repeated a prayer, asking Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to come into my life.

After that my life changed drastically. All of my questions were answered. I started to pray and read the Bible five minutes on a daily basis. I turned away from my old ways. I stopped hating, I stopped living for video games. I stopped living for television and I eventually stopped abusing my brother. I was no longer depressed all the time and I wasn’t shy anymore.

My life was great but, there still was a problem. I did not realize just how bad my sins had been. It was only the tip of the iceberg in changing my ways. It needed to penetrate my heart. Seven months or so had passed. I noticed that I was having some struggles with sin. The pastor of the church that I attended had discovered the teachings of Ray Comfort. I soon began to study these teachings. I enrolled in his online Bible school and downloaded many of his sermons. This man revealed Jesus in a truth that none of us had noticed before. God was using this man. I was amazed that everything Ray Comfort taught was so Biblical and yet I had never heard of such things from any Christian before. These teachings revealed my sin to me in a new light and I realized the extent of my guilt.

Ray Comfort presented his teaching like this. “Excuse me, are you a good person?” Of course we all answer “yes” to that question. What is our goodness judged on though? God’s perfect, Holy law is the way that He will judge our goodness. Look at the Ten Commandments. Have you ever lied? Have you ever stolen anything? (The value is irrelevant) Have you ever looked at someone with lust? (Jesus said whoever looks at someone with lust has committed adultery with them in their heart). Just by looking at three of the Ten Commandments I realized just how much sin I had committed. I had never realized just how much Jesus loved me to die for my sins. I had received Jesus with joy, yet understanding the extent of my sin should have brought me tears. I had not truly repented. I had not truly realized the importance of turning away from my sin. Asking for Christ’s forgiveness but continuing to commit the same sins can be likened to a man who committs adultery on his wife, tells her he is sorry for committing adultery and then goes out and committs adultery again.

One day I was listening to the message Hells Best Kept Secret on my computer at home and after hearing that I got on my knees and cried out for mercy. It was then then I truly did repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. I no longer prayed and read the Bible and acted different to be like others who went to church, I did it because I had met the living God.

Adam and Eve chose to sin and because of that we are all born into sin. However God loved us enough to send His only Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. Jesus is perfect, meaning He is sinless and on earth He was conceived by the Holy Spirit in the virgin Mary's womb. Jesus was the perfect sacrifice for our sins. If we repent of our sins and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ then we are promised to be born again, given a new heart with new desires and eternal life in heaven. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Although, your life does improve with Jesus, that is not the reason why you repent and believe on Jesus. You repent and believe in order to be forgiven of everything wrong you’ve ever done so that you can know God on earth and live with Him in heaven. He saved our lives! Think of it this way: You are asleep at home and your house is on fire. You have no idea what is going on. One of your neighbours walks by your house. This is the neighbour, whom you have committed many horrible acts against. Your neighbour loves you even though you have shown him hate. Your neighbour runs into the house and rescues you. He lays you on the ground and then you wake up and to what has happened. You are amazed and you notice that your neighbour was injured in the process and he ends up dieing. You are full of sorrow; he saved your life despite all these terrible things you did to him. You look towards the sky and in tears ask him for forgiveness. You realize that there is a book about your neighbour, so you read it and learn it off by heart. You live by that book and you tell everyone you see this story. In the same way Jesus died for us, even though we sinned against Him. We should be full of sorrow for what we have done to Him and we should have a passion to know Him.

If you don’t know Jesus, then consider if you were to die tonight. Would you go to heaven? Don’t say “God is all-loving or will forgive all.” Remember God is a God of justice. Think of it this way. If you were before a judge and were found guilty of rape, theft and murder, would you get off if you told him you were sorry? Would He be just to say “Alright you’re free to go?” No! The sentence would have to be carried out. Justice demands fulfillment of punishment to a crime. Jesus carried out that sentence for you, the death sentence for our sin. If you have broken just one of the Ten Commandments then you have a sentence to be carried out. You would be found guilty on judgement day and would go to hell. There is only one way to escape hell and that is repenting and believing on the Lord Jesus Christ. God’s love is so incredible and He doesn’t want anyone to perish. If you can recognize that you have sinned and understand your need for Jesus then ask Him for forgiveness. Right now, ask Him to forgive you of all the wrong things you’ve ever done and commit yourself to living for Him.